The Light is Shining

One of the main changes that has occurred in my thinking since attending the school here is how to reach the lost. Actually it is not being changed, but formed for the first time in me. How did I used to think we should win the lost? I dunno…bring more doughnuts to Sunday school and hope they smell the aroma? I realized that I didn’t have any plan to reach the lost. Sure, I went to church faithfully and served in ministry. I also went to work all week with the same people, some of whom are lost, and tried to live an exemplary life in front of them hoping they would be interested and ask me about the Lord. I was faithful as I knew how, but honestly I had never led anyone to the Lord before. And that’s pretty sad considering that Jesus left us with the thing called the ‘Great Commission’ in which he instructed us to be about the business of winning the lost until he returns. Winning the lost and discipling them IS the business of the Kingdom of God.

I’m beginning to understand a little more about process of evangelism, and I’m really excited about it. Basically, if you don’t go where there are lost people, you can’t win anyone to the Lord. So simple yet so profound. How can we win the lost unless we go to where they are? The call of God isn’t to stay in the comfort of the church building as I have done all these years, but to go out into the dark places of society and share the love of God where hurting people dwell. This is the reality of light shining in the darkness. Funny thing, if you turn a flashlight on in a well-lit room, you will not even notice that the bulb is burning. But, if you turn off all the lights, then that same flashlight becomes a beacon to all those stranded in the darkness. Even so, all my shining in church will catch little attention, but shining out in the world makes tidal waves of change! I have just the story to illustrate:

MSM (Morningstar School of Ministry) got an invitation to bring some students down to Orlando last weekend to pray for people and give them messages from God. In Christian lingo, we call this ‘Prophetic Ministry’. But this wasn’t a church that they were invited to. It was a business conference with business leaders from around the country paying $500 per person for 3 days of business development instruction. The leader of this conference loves prophetic ministry, and put her reputation on the line as a level-headed business person to have our students show up and provide prophetic ministry. The teams have been returning to class this week and sharing the amazing experiences they had. They led tons of people to the Lord! Initial reports were that about 100 people made decisions to invite the Lord to come into their lives. There were a total of about 800 people present, and many were already saved. Those who made decisions for the Lord this week were from many different backgrounds: Atheist, Catholic, Muslim, New Age, Agnostic, etc. They had one thing in common. Our teams heard God’s message to each individual and shared what He was saying. The atheist who had come to mock the Christians gave his life to the Lord because he couldn’t deny that the Lord had told our teams the secrets of his life. A flashlight had come into the dark place these people were living in and began shining God's light. It was amazing to have this opportunity to go into a secular place and bless the people who were attending. What was more amazing is that several of those salvations also occurred at the gas station and hanging out in the hotel between meetings. Lost people are in the world living their lives. They are not in church hearing about God. If we are going to have an impact at winning souls, we must go find them. This is something the Lord is awakening within my heart. How many more friends might he have if I only choose to go out into the darkness?

What Do You Want?

This has been a question posed to me in surround sound.

What do I want?

I want to be as close to God as He will let me everyday.

I want to love Him more.

I want the Bible to be alive IN me and TO me.

I want the enemy to run when they see the Light that is in me.

I want to use all the talents God's given me well.

I want to hear God's voice clearly.

I want to be an intercessor.

I want to be known in heaven.

I want to see myself completely the way Jesus sees me.

I want to write, sing, and dance all the serious and silly things He puts in my head-without fear.

I want to pray and see healing.

I want to minister to my husband.

I want to raise the next generation of lovers and warriors for God.

I want everything He has planned for me and MORE.

I don't even know why I am posting these. Maybe it's a subconscious cry for accountability. If I put out there what I really want, YOU'LL know and I'LL know and GOD will know. And I'll have to do something about it. It's scary, yet exhilarating.

What am I doing about it?

Something they've taught here in the simplest terms: What do you want and what are you doing about it? What is the plan of action you are taking to reach your goals? Simple, yet profound.

I used to think I was too busy, but instead I was avoiding growing up, what you might call maturing. Well, God pushed me this far (into Pineville, NC) out of the nest to see how I would fly. Oh, I've flopped and tumbled a lot. But I feel the wind lifting me...it's His mercy and grace to me...it's taking me up to see the world as a true eagle sees it. And I am.

Your hearts are as hard as a field
that has not been plowed.
If you change your ways,
you will produce good crops.
So plant the seeds of doing what is right.
Then you will harvest the fruit of your faithful love.
It is time to turn to me.
When you do, I will come
and shower my blessings on you.

HOSEA 10:12 New International Reader's Version

Reach Out!

A short while ago, Karen and I went across town to find a park and attend a tree lighting ceremony. It was cold and wet, so we opted for the comfort of a nearby mall. As we walked in Macy's I knew the Lord was playing a song just for me in the overhead speakers. We've had some dark times in Charlotte, although we both know that the Lord wants us here for this training. I found some great encouragement from these lyrics:

"Reach Out I'll Be There" by The Four Tops, 1966

Now if you feel that you can't go on
Because all your hope is gone
And your life is filled with confusion
And happiness is just an illusion
And your world around is tumblin' down
Darling, reach out
Reach out, for me.

I'll be there to love and comfort you...(tell me baby)
I'll be there with the love I'll see you through

Now when you're lost and about to give up
'cause your best just ain't good enough
and you feel the world has grown cold
and you're driftin' on your own
when you need a hand to hold
darling, reach out
reach out, for me.

I'll be there to love and comfort you
I'll be there with the love I'll see you through

I'll be there to love and comfort you
I'll be there to with the love I'll see you through

I can tell you the way I hang your head
Now with out of love , now you're afraid
And through your tears you look around
But there's no peace of mind to be found

I know what you're thinking
Witout love, now you're alone
Baby, reach out
Reach out for me

I'll be there to love and comfort you
I'll be there with the Love I'll see you through

I'll be there to love and comfort you
Tell me baby
I'll be there to always see you through
I'll be there

I'll be there to love and comfort you
I'll be there with the love I'll see you through.

Chi wan le (All finished)

Dear Sammy,

Tonight was a fun first. Since you are a growing boy, eating is something that you do a lot of lately. When we finish eating, we say in Chinese, 'Chi wan le'. Translated literally, this means 'I am done eating', but the basic meaning is 'All finished'. We have been teaching you the signs so you can communicate better. The sign for 'All finished' is to hold both hands out and roll them by twisting your wrists. Of course as most babies, you have developed a modified version that suits you more. You only use your right hand held down by your hip, and wave similar to the Queen of England! It's pretty cute. You've been slowly learning to mimic us do this, but tonight you told us all by yourself for the first time. It's been obvious by your body language that you are communicating more, but it was nice to have a clear message in sign language tonight.
Love you,
Daddy

Why is Humility Sometimes Brown?

We went up to Wilkesboro this past weekend, and a couple (Steve and Karen) came with us. With 2 Karens (and a Samuel) in the Suburban, you can imagine the fun we had. So we decided that one would be "Honey" and the other would be, well, you guessed it, "Karen". Ashley, Steve and Karen (S&K) all attend the school, and S&K are on a dream-interpreting team. So on the way home after hearing Doug Addison speak, they were all sharing dreams and talking about them. They have more experience than I do, and they said of one dream, "Well, brown usually means humility..." That statement made me wonder, "Why is humility the color brown?" Explanation (as I later found out): Brown sometimes represents a death to your "self" (AKA "flesh") or a denial to the things that the "me" desires. It makes sense, but it takes more than the gray matter upstairs to figure that out; God has to show it to me to get it through my head. TA DA! I realized that I have been relying too much on the natural abilities God has given me to get me through whatever is on the horizon. And if I can't do it, I'll just try harder!

Ahem, that doesn't work.

It was a gentle reminder, I have a lot less to be concerned with, and I am thankful that I am not the Manager of the Universe. Lots of miles to go...lots to learn...so thankful that God's not done with me, yet.

Evangelism

One of the reasons we felt the Lord leading us to Morningstar was the hands-on ministry experience that they require of students. I didn't want to spend 2 years getting a master's degree in biblical studies, and still not know how to engage strangers in Wal-Mart to share the good news about Jesus. I think most Christians dread the thought of evangelism because the model we know requires a great deal of confrontation, and in many cases, hurt feelings for everyone involved. Here at Morningstar, they are taking a very new approach to evangelism which provides a much greater dignity and respect to the unsaved person. It is not confrontational or high pressure. It doesn't even require me to have a Bible in hand when I am talking with someone. What they have discovered is that many people want a relationship with Jesus, but they are offended by religiosity and christian jargon. People are desperately hungry for God, and for experiencing his supernatural miracles in their lives, but if they are offended in the process of sharing the good news, they become defensive to protect themselves from being hurt again. We aren't learning a formula for presenting the good news, but moreso a philosophy of understanding what causes a person to be fearful or angry when we share the gospel. In most cases, it isn't that they are offended with the truth. They are offended as the past hurts by well-meaning christians are brought to mind while we are sharing. They are offended when we ignore their personal dignity and right to figure it out their relationship with God for themselves.

I am out of time for writing at the moment, as it's time for our chaplain class. But I will testify that I've led a person to the Lord both times that I've been out on the streets to evangelize here by understanding people better. Did they have perfect theology when I finished? NO. But then again, neither do I. Thank God that he isn't judging me by that! I would like to point you to a profound website on this subject. One of the guys pioneering this new way is Doug Addison. Check out his website (http://www.dougaddison.com/cms/index.php), especially the blog. More on this later, but for now I better zoom. Traffic is killer in Charlotte...

Blessings,

Ashley

I'm going to be a Chaplain?!

Well, part of the training up here is a 2 part training for Chaplaincy and Emergency Preparedness. For my younger readers asking, 'What is a chaplain?' I'll tell you. It is like being a pastor except you work in a business or government position. I used to think chaplains were just preachers on the military bases, but I've learned a lot since I've been here about what they really do. You can learn more too at their international website: http://www.ifoc.org/. Chaplains work with businesses, police stations, military bases, hospitals, prisons, the courts, colleges, fire stations, nursing homes, biker clubs, search and rescue groups, and many many other organizations. Some of them are just on call for emergencies and others work full time. The cool thing is that once you are a member, you can go anywhere there is an emergency and help the people in need. Even if the police won't let people get through to help, they will let the chaplains through because the chaplains have the same emergency training police have. Last year some of the ministry students used their chaplain badges to go help after Hurricane Katrina. They were able to go right to the people in worst need because the police allowed them to go right to the worst hit areas where the general public volunteers could not go. Because of the training this week, you won't be hearing from me. We have 45 hours of training and a test to become certified. I've changed the website a little because of that. Now, if you post a comment it will show up immediately. I hope the site continues to generate some conversation this week. I've been happy to see several of you communicating. I hope that as I have time to share things we are learning through the ministry here, it will bring encouragement to you all as well.

Happy commenting...

Book Slinger

Dear Sammy,

You are reading the post of a proud father. We have been so busy moving to North Carolina, that I haven't had much time to write you. You've been cutting teeth and becoming more agile day by day. You just learned sign language for 'all finished eating' yesterday. You love to clap at every opportunity. When you know you've done good, you clap. When you're especially happy, you clap. Whenever you hear an audience clapping, you clap right along with them. Though you cannot speak yet, every little grunt you make is rich in meaning. You are learning to make the sounds you hear us make. You are fascinated with lights and light switches, and I wouldn't be surprised if 'light' is one of your first words!
You drag your toys all over the place leaving us a huge mess to clean up every day, but we are still glad you are here with us. Today you even helped Mommy by putting one of your books back on the shelf! Mommy likes to play with you by handing you something and telling you in Chinese to take it to Daddy - 'Na gei Daddy'. You know exactly what to do. You shuffle over and hand it to me. You're getting pretty smart for someone who can't even talk yet :)
Mommy is most proud of the fact that you looooovvvvveeeeee books! Books, books, books. You love to bring a book over, hit her on the head with it, and plop down on her lap waiting for her to read to you. You are so precious to us. Now, if only we could buy some helmets for your book slinging habit!
Love,
Daddy

Humility Quote

'Humility is not just thinking more highly of others than ourselves; it is also thinking more often of them.'

As far as I know, this is my personal quote. It's something I've been considering as we go out to the neighborhoods and grocery stores to minister to the lost. I realized I have an amazing tendency to minister to people with an attitude of pride, which creates a huge pressure inside of me to see results. I'm learning that it is much easier to serve people with a humble heart, and let the results be up to God.

Welcome Friends!

Friends! Welcome to the Hawkins Family adventure blog! As most of you know, our family has just made a major life transition from the 8-5 job to a school of ministry. This website is devoted to sharing our adventure with all of our friends back home, and ones that we meet on this journey. I hope you are all blessed as you read. We will be sharing experiences, truths, miracles, and most of all, LAUGHS, with you as we begin this adventure. God bless...

Qiu qiu

Dear Samuel,

When I started this blog, I thought I was going to write about every little change that happened in your life. Little did I know, that you would change moment by moment! If I were to write down every single change that happened to you, I would have to make it a full time job. Sometimes when you change or learn something new, I don't even realize it until you have been doing it a few days. Other times, it is more obvious. Since I have quit my job as we get ready for MSM, I have had a little more time with you every day, and it has been fun.

You are 13 months old now, and one thing we have discovered without surprise, is that you love playing with balls like every other red blooded little boy. The past few weeks as we've been talking to you, I realized you understand very much even though you cannot speak to me yet. So yesterday while we were playing with other toys, I asked you where the ball was. "Qiu qiu". You stopped your play, and looked around, brow furrowed, as if to express your deep thought. You walked around to the kitchen because you remembered it had been there earlier, but no success. I thought you just needed a little help, so I crawled over to where it was covered up by another toy, and pulled it out saying, "Qiu qiu!". It was brilliant. I thought I was clever. I thought you'd run over and play with me. You looked at it as if to say, "Good daddy, you found it". Then you took off in the opposite direction to play with something more interesting, while I was left to play with my ball and figure out if you really new what I was talking about. You sure did! Later in the evening, we tried again. You found the ball and we played with it this time.

Love,
Daddy

Simply Amazing

Dear Samuel,

So much has happened that there just isn't time to capture every little "first". You started walking at the '06 Morningstar Holy Spirit Conference. It was just 2 or 3 steps, but that was the first time I remember you doing it. We played with you by picking you up, setting you away from us, and letting you walk toward us...great fun. Today, Mommy taught you how to turn the lights on (kai deng), and off (guan deng). At first, you only knew to turn it off. Then after Mommy showed you, you figured out that you could flip the switch up too, and the lights would come back on! That was in the nursery. Then, she took you in the hallway and showed you another switch. You figured out right away that it works just the same. In Chinese, we say, "Hen cong ming" ~ very smart! :) Mommy is very good at teaching you.

You have discovered tupperware in the cabinets and pull them all out onto the floor. You also like to explore all other forms of potential energy as well. Whenever you find anything on a desk or table, you like to pull it off and watch it fall. Once everything is in the floor, you move on to something more interesting. Daddy says "aiyaa". Sometimes I don't like all the mess you make, but I am thankful you are inquisitive and active.

Love,
Baba

Catchin up on firsts...

Dear Samuel,

...or Sam Wuir as I believe the Chinese pronunciation of your name should be...you are growing up too fast, and we demand that you slow down! Yeah, right:) You are growing like a weed and your mother and I love to see the new developments and your little experiments every day. You love to play with the funniest things. Boxes and spoons are much more exciting than the $5-$20 toys we brought home! Here's a list of what you've been up to:

1. Cut your first 2 teeth (on the bottom front). Man, they are sharp! I'm not letting you gnaw on my fingers anymore.
2. You have started pulling yourself up when you get a good grip.
3. Just recently you got brave enough to let go of things while standing. You let go and try to stand up as long as possible before toppling over on your belly, or plopping on your behind. Your max time so far has been around 3-4 seconds. You think this is very fun because you're getting the idea that walking is within your grasp.
4. You really enjoy Mommy playing peek-a-boo. She jumps out from a door, you jump when you are startled, and then you giggle.
5. I try to change you into your diaper and jammies every evening for bed. You love to roll around naked on the changing table. I blow zerberts on your belly, legs, and neck, and you giggle in shrill tones.
6. You learned to drink from a sippy cup! We're soooo proud. You can even pick it up, and most times, get it in your mouth the right way.
7. You started having dinner in the high chair. It is a happy place for you. Food, fun, and a full stomach! Kulo thanks you for all the cheerios you send him on the floor.
8. Speaking of Kulo, you are captivated by him. Whenever he pops in the room, you stop everything and give him a good looking over. You've been known to grab an ear and use him for a baby walker. He's somewhat patient, but let's face it, he's a Min Pin. Not a very patient breed of dog.

We love you very much. It's a true blessing from God to have your little life around.

Love,
Dad