Sleepy Times

How time flies! You are now about 28 months old. You love to snuggle in bed right up next to mommy. I don't know what goes through your little head, but it is definitely an adventure! One night you started "running" in your dreams and kicked me repeatedly. Then another night you started laughing and chuckling. I wonder what you dream about...

One night we gave you a snack of Oatmeal Chocolate Cake before bed, and you went to sleep saying "more".

Tonight you woke up and saw me sitting in the bed after your diaper leaked, and you asked, "Mama, whatchoo doing"? I laughed to myself and responded that I was going to sleep. That answer seemed to satisfy you, and you rolled over and went back to sleep. You were, of course, lying with your head at the foot of the bed and giving me about 1 1/2 feet to get back in bed. I pushed you over eventually, and you are now sleeping soundly next to your Daddy.

It is fun to watch you sleep and remember how small you were when you were born. Now you are very long, and it amazes me to see you when you are lying next to your Dad. Sleep tight, little one.

Love,
Mommy

The value of a child

Have you ever wondered exactly how God views your child(ren)? It's still something for me to be amazed at, still pondering. An instrument of change, purging, burning of flesh...A new reason to be amazed at how intricately God designs things...and how much laughter one antic can elicit?

But beyond the first few years, can you imagine the plans he has for that one child? To change the world he lives in? To affect eternity? To amaze the God who created him with his faith and love? So much potential, so much life.

So much responsibility. Mine.

A human being, weak and frail--yet empowered by the God most high.

Trading Up in God's World

28Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. - Matthew 19:28-30

Inspiring Quote for the Week

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -Thomas Edison

Moving Into Greater Destiny

One of the most revealing stories of destiny is the story of the Exodus. God delivered the Israelites from a situation of slavery and murder to bring them into a land rich and prosperous. This is my favorite account in all of scriptures. It is the first account that the Lord ever used to speak deeply into my heart as a young man, and the one I have continually compared my heart to as the Lord has attempted to move me from places of emotional, mental, and spiritual slavery into places that are rich and prosperous. In every season of life I find some aspect that relates to this difficult journey of faith of the Israelites through the desert.

But until this year, I could never understand why the Israelites would be worried and complain about their desert exodus and demand to return to the harsh conditions of Egypt. From the reader’s standpoint, we assume that the Israelites knew and understood that God was bringing them to a better place. But their initial experience was exactly opposite of what God had promised. God had said he would take them to a land flowing with milk and honey. But after the first 3 days of walking through the desert, the Israelites could not even find water to drink. Immediately upon their journey of faith they feared that God had brought them out into the desert to die. Their default thinking was that God was using them as pawns in some sort of sick, torturous game of death. As my pastor recently revealed, the Israelites knew God was powerful because they had seen the plagues in Egypt…they just didn’t know that he was GOOD. That is the challenge for all of us in times of difficulty, is it not…to believe that God is good when every circumstance around us seems to be bad or hopeless?

Anytime we take a step in the direction of God’s intended destiny for our lives, we will be met with similar difficulties, whether real or perceived. Like the Israelites, often after a three day journey into our destiny, we too want to give up and return to the slavery we tried to escape. Destiny always comes with responsibility and sacrifice, which are things our natural mind doesn’t want to accept. Will my destiny require me to move? Will it limit my time with friends or loved one (like Abraham)? Will I have to give up my job or change my spending habits? Will I have to begin studying again like when I was in school? Will it require me to be busy for more hours of the day, or not allow me to sleep in on the weekends? Will I have to give up my Friday hang-out time with the guys? As we take steps into true destiny, every bone in our natural body will often want to tuck tail and return to the comforts that we have sacrificed and left behind. But each one of those comforts came with a price – slavery; slavery to a system or a mindset or a habit that kept us from entering into the full purpose of God for our lives. To step into destiny, we must uncover the fear and distrust of God’s love and faithfulness when times are hard and when no one seems to be on the journey with us. We must battle the ridiculous irritations and conflicts that come up in our families caused by the irritation of losing our comforts. Many will long for the “old days” when everything was better. This is the ultimate lie - to believe that everything was better when we were not free and living in the purpose that God created us to have.

From my limited experience, stepping into destiny is a messy process. It is like an uncoordinated child taking his first steps. There is utter reliance on his father to help him stay up and walking, or at least to fall gracefully without getting injured. As we’ve taken steps toward this end, I’ve had to let go of the idea that every plan will go without a hitch and that I will look like I know what I’m doing. By definition, stepping into destiny is something new with which we are inexperienced. If everything felt natural, I would question the greatness of my destiny. I started out wanting to amaze everyone with my faith, but now I’m just excited about the adventure and what my Heavenly Father is thinking and saying to me.

Where is your destiny and adventure? What will you have to do to enter into it? If God has shown you what to do, then act quickly in faith. If not, ask the Lord to show you what he has in store. Invest prayer into uncovering the purpose of God for you life. There is always more than you can see on the surface. Another thing my pastor always says, is that “God hides things FOR you, not FROM you.” God loves to see his children embracing the adventure he has prepared for them. Happy Trails!

Great! And then what?

I remember this old cartoon pamphlet/track that I had a long time ago. I bet I could still find it if I had to. It's here somewhere. There are two guys standing in the subway, one who's about to graduate or something like that. His friend listens to his plans for after graduation and then asks, "Great! And then what?" The man goes on to describe meeting his dream wife and having a family. Great! And then what? A big house and climbing the ladder of success. Great! And then what? A yacht...more things...Great! And then what? By now the first man is getting frustrated by his friend's questions about "and then what". Whaddaya mean and then what?! What else is there?!

What else is there?

What will be there at the end of the day...what will I have to show for it when I face God? Tonight I took Samuel home from church, and it occurred to me to sing to Samuel in the car. I realized that since we've been here, he hasn't heard me sing much or at all for one reason or another. So I decided to sing with what was playing on the radio. He immediately started to sing, too, and it made me smile.

I started this blog a few months ago at a point when I was just getting by, or surviving, so to speak. These past few months have been a growing period that I am truly thankful for (sorry to end in a preposition, my 6th grade English teacher would be appalled). But God's mercy and patience have been so amazing on the other side of these months so that when I see how He has all pieced EVERYTHING together, I can only shake my head in wonder at the intricate design of every aspect of this journey.

So my question is : And then what? Why all this struggle? Why all this uncertainty? In a world where I can make things happen if I try hard enough (my motto up until now)...why would you give it all up and trust God?

BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING MORE...

A destiny, a plan, a purpose and a legacy to leave for your kids and your grandkids. Something for that cloud of witnesses to see (Hebrews 12) and cheer and be amazed at our faith in the unseen.
Something for today and not when just we reach those pearly gates. Something bigger than we could ever imagine.

Go for it! (and take your kids with you)

I Do

What is it really like for Jesus Christ to be the Lord of my life? I sing songs that call Him my "Lord" or "King", but those words taken to the full meaning are terrifying. What might I have to give up if I obeyed every prompting of God in my life? What might I have to do (or not do)? The old addage is very cute that says: It is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission. But for the one who has become a bondservant of Christ, is there really room for such nonsense? What is a bondservant? I think the Apostle Paul coined the phrase. A bond servant was once a slave owned by another person, but upon faithful completion of his duties he had become free. But since he had begun to love the family that he served so much, his choice was to forever give up freedom to be a servant to the other. It was a free will servitude based on the servant's sense of affection and devotion to the master that superseded the law. This is one way that Paul describes his relation to God, and one way that we should also learn.

Does my money any longer belong to me? Can I buy whatever I please or eat out whenever I want? Should I choose the work that suits my interest, or is there something else the Lord requires of me? For the follower of Christ, our lives have been married to God. This is the example of scripture. And just as I give attention to my marriage to bring myself into deeper unity and joy with my wife, I must also pay attention to the daily practices which enrich my relationship with my God. If I ignore my wife I am ignoring my vows to her. And it is the same (even greater) if I ignore my vows to the "Lord" and "King" of my life. Is He truly the Lord of my life, or is it in name only? I am not coerced into asking these questions. They come from my sense of affection to the Lord, and a deep desire to remain near to Him and in His plan for my life.

Thankfully, there is tremendous grace in God that we can ask these sort of questions without feeling condemned, or feeling the need to punish ourselves with self-inflicted suffering. We must always come to the realization that the changes we need in our lives and relationships with God and our neighbor are brought about only by the power of God himself. We cannot take on ourselves the duty of self-discipline. It is God who disciplines each of His children for our own good. He is the one who promised to change us. The God who leads us into difficulties for our training is the same God who fulfills every longing of the heart and brings us into pleasures evermore.

Feel Free to Interact

Dear Readers,

I'd like to point out several new features to this blog to allow for more interaction and dialog. First of all, I've opened up comments to anyone reading the page. You no longer need to register to leave a comment. So please feel free to reply to my posts with your own provoking thoughts. Secondly, I've created a "Write Me" page that you can access at the top of the screen. Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know who you are, and if you have your own webpage. I'm starting to get busy with life, but I will do my best to reply and let you know I received your message. I really love to hear from people. Thirdly, I've installed an easy subscribe/unsubscribe bar on the right column of this page. This is a great way to be notified when I write a blog instead of bothering to check every day (unless you just like to surf my pages). My friend Karen from Mannabytes has given me a little friendly competition lately to make my site more accessible, and these changes are the result. So please have a good time checking out the site, and let me know what's happening with you.

See ya,

Ashley

Next Level Please

Everyone has some mountain to climb, some hill to ascend. Maybe it is your work or perhaps you have a favorite hobby and your job is simply the means to support your weekend fun. Even lazy people who just lie around doing almost nothing are attempting to ascend the hill of pleasure and meaning. A glance back through the years might reveal that hours of lying on the couch, watching TV, and eating potato chips hasn't really fulfilled the longing in their hearts, but they are seeking something. No one wants to remain at their current level of experience in life, but not everyone finds the strength and motivation to move on to the next level. Everyone has a longing, even if it has been buried through continual disappointment. One of the great things about faith, is it allows us to see past many disappointments and still remember the vision that first drove us to attempt something we really didn't know how to do. This is how Thomas Edison invented this lightbulb, and this is how true followers of Jesus Christ will come into maturity.

Many people tap into the reality of faith without even considering themselves to be "Christians". In fact, look at any great story of achievement and you will find someone willing to bet against terrible odds and overcome adversity. It always amazes me that we see just as many (if not more) great examples of faith in action from non-religious folk as we do from those who claim to know the Lord. Religion can be a hinderance to the follower of Christ, and we must always assess the realities we are living in (and ask God for insight) so that we do not blind ourselves by the practice of useless religous activities. True religion will always have value added to society because when we allow ourselves to be used of God, he will always use us to bless the people around us. Faith is the building, but the foundation of that building is vision. Without vision, there is nothing to "faith" in.

Moving to new levels and experiences in our relationship with God always involves letting go of something that we know and understand so that we can enter into new understandings and experiences. For the poor soul afraid of change, they will not be able to enter into new levels with God. If we are to have Christ FORMED in us, we will ultimately have to embrace layers of change as onion layers are peeled away. I have to ask myself today: In what ways have I embraced change lately? In what ways have I feared change? What areas of my life am I holding back from allowing God to dabble in? If He is Lord, he must have all.

Selah...

Shhh! ABC...

Samuel,

You never cease to surprise me. You love to play with the buttons on the CD player and the keyboard, but sometimes you can be a little loud. So, the past couple of days I would turn to you and say, "Shh!! Turn it down!" in Chinese to you. You would then turn the volume down on the CD player--and then tonight on the keyboard. I was so surprised. Even the second time I asked you to turn it down, you knew what to do. You are learning so fast.

Even with the alphabet, you can recognize all the letters when we write or type except W, Y, and Z, but I bet you'll learn them in the next few days. You are the funniest kid because wherever we go, you are reading letters on cups, signs, boxes, anything with letters on them! Even at a stop light, you are saying the letters you see. You are so smart. Now, if we could get you to count! :)
Your new favorite songs are the alphabet song ("B-C"), The B-I-B-L-E, and Old MacDonald (E-I-E-I-O). Can you tell that you like letters? We love you so very much! We are very proud of you.

Your molars are coming in now, so Mommy will go back to bed. I love you!

Fun Times

Dear Samuel,

You are growing by leaps and bounds. You are now tall enough to reach the lights in our house (and the elevator at church!)and are so helpful when we ask you to turn the lights on and off. When you get hungry or thirsty, you help yourself and turn the kitchen and dining room lights on...and then proceed to the fridge and drag out whatever you want or whatever is in the way of what you want. Tonight, you brought out the juice and wanted us to pour it into your bath toy cup...the one with holes in the bottom. Thankfully, you haven't developed the dexterity to twist open the juice and pour! Yet...

At your mealtime before bed, Daddy gave you yogurt, and you fed yourself with a spoon. You slurped it up, making noises after each mouthful. When we would feed you yogurt by the spoon, you would place 1 or 2 Cheerios (or the Wal-Mart equivalent) on each spoonful and then eat it. Tonight Daddy decided to put them in your bowl for you to spoon and eat. You took one mouthful and furrowed your brow...something didn't taste right. Now, you hate to get anything on your fingers, like yogurt. So you tentatively pushed at the O's in the bowl, trying not to get the yogurt on your fingers while you picked up and pushed the O's to the side of the bowl. Daddy finally removed them (ate them), and then you decided that you wanted to put them in yourself. We had a good laugh.

You also like to help us make smoothies and things with ice in the Vitamix. You sure drank a lot of Daddy's smoothie tonight! You'll take us to the fridge and point to the freezer until we understand what you want, and then you'll take some ice and put it in the Vitamix. Sometimes we'll just make a slushy of sorts, but you don't mind. It's cold, and you like it. Then you'll say "cold" in Chinese!

You are such a fun little boy. You love to bounce on your bed, hang upside down, have Daddy throw you on our bed, and generally use up all your energy. You love to dance and jump from the step stool we bought for you. Tonight you jumped from the step stool, making a loud thud. We finally muted the noise for our neighbors downstairs by placing 2 puffy pillows down on the floor. You loved this even more.
I am just thankful you are growing up healthy and strong--even though sometimes you wear me out! I love you, little boy. Sometimes I wish you could stay this age forever...

Mommy

Choose Life!

'This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.' Deuteronomy 30:19-20

It's almost comical that God would make this statement. No, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but today we benefit from many thousands of years worth of understanding that these Hebrews didn't have at the time, and looking back it seems funny that at the creation of the Old Covenant God made with Moses and the people he would tell them to choose life by obeying the laws. Ultimately, what God knew, and what Paul later understood, was that the entire Old Covenant (as wonderful as it seemed) would engulf the people in wet blanket of death that they would not be able to escape. In 2 Corinthians 3:7-11, Paul says that this Old Covenant 'brought death'. That's right...the 10 Commandments (and many thousands more in Leviticus) did nothing to make the people perfect in God's eyes. Romans 3:20 says that no one can be righteous by observing the law (Old Covenant), because the law was only created to make us conscious of sin. What a whopper! God is setting them up for a long hard road, but it was a necessary lesson for us to learn: righteousness doesn't come by obeying the rules. Romans 3:21 goes on to say that there is a righteousness that comes APART from observing the law (10 Commandments, Old Covenant, etc) that is by faith in Jesus Christ alone. If you would choose life in this New Covenant that God has established with man, you will have to abandon the righteousness that you can accomplish through your own works, and begin trusting in the work of Jesus Christ when he died for our sins, and resurrected to new life.

Website Changes/Instructions

Hi Everyone,

You might have noticed some changes within the past month to my blog. I've updated Wordpress and done some other modifications. In the process I have lost support to the software I was using to host downloads. What does that mean? Well, for now it means that if you would like to download one of my mp3's or my Evangelism Research Paper you should "right click" on the file and select "Save Target As". Then you can save it to your local computer and use it as desired. Sorry for the trouble. I'm still learning a bunch about hosting a website. Hopefully I'll have all this stuff done soon so I can get back to writing more!!!

Blessings...

Help!!!

Dear Samuel,

By now, your Mommy is becoming very pregnant with your first little sibling, but you have very little clue about her growing belly right now. Occassionally you still like to powerslam into her belly, which causes her alot of discomfort, and I imagine, makes the little child inside wonder what awaits him/her when they arrive into the world!

The several nights ago as it often happens with pregnancy, Mommy was laying on the bed and having some difficulty finding the energy to get up. So she stuck her hand up to me and said, "Help". As expected, I reached out and helped her up. I guess this made a significant impression on you. Only 30 minutes later, Mommy had you in her arms taking you to get a diaper change. You don't particularly enjoy getting your diaper changed because that means taking a precious 5 minutes out of your busy play schedule. So as the 2 of you went by, you saw me, reached out your arm, and said "Help!!!". Mommy and I were both very tickled of how quickly you learn important phrases such as, "Cake", "I-Qing", and "Help".

My prayer is that you learn to ask the Lord for help as quickly as you turn to your earthly parents for help at 2 years old.

Love,
Daddy

New developments

Hi Samuel,

Mommy is going out to buy a whip for your Daddy today. Last night he ate too many cookies and got a sugar crash/headache. We were already in bed and had already read Goodnight Moon together. Daddy got up and drank some water to help with it. He had to go to the potty later on and forgot to put up a block so that you wouldn't roll off the bed. He ended up playing video games until he heard a crash and cries from you. When we were all in bed, Mommy said to him that he was going to get horse-whipped and that we were going to buy a whip today. But I think I'll forgive him...even though I haven't been able to go back to sleep. I had to change your diaper as well later on because I bet the fall made you so scared that you pooped.

Well, I'll just sleep later on today. :)

Last night Daddy put back together the crib so that we could start working on getting you to sleep in it. You are sleeping more on your own through the night (except when you roll off), and Mommy is thankful. You love the crib and helped Daddy put it together by throwing screwdrivers through the bars, saying uh-oh and climbing on the bars. You love to bounce, bounce, bounce! The mattress is the bounciest thing in the house and you get your exercise by bouncing. You laid down on the pillow and pretended to snore. Then you told us you wanted out but then kept playing (bouncing) and pretending to snore. You are so funny! You can also climb out of the crib by using the bed through the bars as a step, but that's ok because you can come and cuddle with us if you need to.

I don't know exactly how you will adjust to this, but we will see!

Love,
Mommy

Happy 2nd!

Dear Sammy-Boy,

You, dear little one, are now officially 2! Your vocabulary is exploding! Please (peas), Thank you (achoo and sheh sheh), ice cream (i-ching), i don't know (i-know, with a pause), Yes sir! (from the Lord's army song), etc...
For your birthday we bought you a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake that was mint chocolate ice cream and chocolate cake. This solidified the word "cake" in your vocabulary.

You have found a new love. Dancing and music. We borrowed Elmopalooza and The Tigger Movie from the library, and you love to dance to Elmo. I think you actually prefer the Ska Count Song with the letter Z. You dance to pretty much any music with a beat and then ask for "more" as soon as the song is done. This brings us so much joy to see you enjoy music and see the freedom you have in dance. I pray you will never be self-conscious and be afraid to express yourself before the Lord.

Happy 2nd, Little One. When you have the time, watch the video of your birthday song.
Love,
Mommy

Solid Rock

The interesting thing about faith is that it is of another dimension. Most of us grow up learning about the world around us by observing our natural surroundings and experiencing the common events of life. We believe what we see and have experienced. But faith is not of the natural, 4 dimensional world (space and time). Faith isn't necessarily based on what we have seen and experienced. In fact, faith cannot be what we have seen or experienced, because by definition, once we have seen something it no longer requires faith to believe. NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, [a]the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. – Hebrews 11:1 (Amplified Bible) A reading of the rest of Hebrews 11 will touch on many biblical stories of great men and women full of faith, who accomplished things that had never been seen or done before their time. They had the ability to see life through eyes of faith. They were not limited in their thinking by what they had already seen or experience in life. They came to a higher level of thinking that was not influenced by past experiences, but by the powerful words of Almighty God. They were visionaries who saw something different in their future that they had not yet experienced. Moses' generation called these future promises the "promised land", because for them God had literally promised them a physical place which is modern day Israel (the promise was actually made to Abraham and fulfilled more than 400 years later). Today it requires no faith to believe that they have inherited that land because it has already occurred. But between the time of Abraham and Moses, there was a period of time that seemed to be the exact opposite of obtaining this promise. The Hebrews lived in Egypt and eventually became enslaved. There seemed to be no hope of obtaining the promise. But God had already told Abraham all that would happen - even foretelling the enslavement of his descendents for 400 years and the resulting freedom that would come through Moses. Rick Joyner has often reminded us that between the promises of God for our lives and the fulfillment of those promises, there always lies a period of time in which we seem to experience the exact opposite of what was promised. That is the time of faith. Faith can only be exercised when we do not see the fulfillment of the things God has spoken for our lives. It is the time when we learn to see that which is unseen.

The true measure of faith of a man cannot be measured by his peers. Sometimes when we step out in faith to accomplish something great that God has placed in our hearts, we do not see the fulfillment of those things. Sometimes that is because we attempt the work in our own efforts as Moses did when he killed the Egyptian. But many times when we have done everything correctly and in the right timing, we may still not see the reward of our faith. A man's level of faith cannot be determined by the outcome of a situation, because many times God will delay the outcome to test our confidence in his faithfulness. God told Abraham that his children would have the promised land. Abraham was obedient to God's word, and yet died without seeing the promises fulfilled. This was not failure. Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness. True faith is not identified so much in the results as it is in the humility and obedience of our heart to believe and to do the vision that God has given us - no matter what results we see in this life. Sometimes (as with Abraham), the reward of our obedience isn't for us, but for future generations to harvest. A righteous man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. So our obedience is often planting seeds of reward and a godly heritage for our grandchildren's lives. So then, the only way to truly live by faith is to see the unseen. We must be able to see with God's help, something that no one has seen before and move toward the fulfillment of that goal. Without faith it is impossible for us to please God, because anyone who comes to God must believe not only that he exists, but that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. I encourage you...ask God to show you something that no one has seen before. Don't allow your past experiences to define your future. Don't settle for the mundane. God has great things in mind for you. Dream a dream. Ask God to show you your unique purpose in life. As you do, you will bring God's Kingdom to bear in the earth. My inspiration today comes courtesy of Edward Mote:


The Solid Rock – Edward Mote (1797-1874)


My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Cleaning up the Apartment

Dear Samuel,

You are always surprising us and amazing us! Tonight you were drinking some water from a glass. Somehow the water flowed out of the glass and went down your shirt and onto the carpet. You automatically said, "Uh-oh!" Then you walked into the kitchen and started pulling at the fridge door using the towels we hang on the handle. I followed you into the kitchen thinking that you wanted some soymilk because you like to get out the carton. But when I opened the door, you held onto the towel and it dawned on Daddy that you wanted the towel to wipe up the water on the floor. So we gave you the towel and, with your little feet, toddled over to the spill and wiped it up--and you did a good job! We were so proud! You are such a helpful little boy!

A few days ago, you and Daddy were at church (which you love to say now) in the lobby running back and forth and up and down the ramp like you like to do. Then Daddy and you start to hop up and down. You've never left the ground with both feet before--unless we were holding you. This brought you so much delight! You were ecstatic and kept jumping up and down. It was such a growing up moment. We love to watch you learn and grow and explore...we love you, little man.

Mommy

More On Evangelism

Hi Everyone,

Sorry you haven't heard from us lately. This last trimester of school has been a real killer. But I had a few minutes tonight and wanted to let you know that I've posted my research paper on this site for those of you who are interested. This was my final project which I scrambled to get done between a wedding, prepping my house for sale, and having a major shift in my thinking on the subject of evangelism at the same time. I didn't realize how broad this subject was until I started trying to write out my thoughts and justify them with the scriptures and the experience of others who are successful in this field. One thing I have learned is this...there is a lot to be learned on the subject of evangelism. We must come back to the original message that Jesus spoke and we must find ways to do it which are relevant to our culture. Carelessly approaching people without forethought, or ignoring the mandate of evangelism because we are too scared are not valid options for the Christian.

That being said, I've posted my article in the "downloads" section of this website. It is entitlled "MSM Evangelism Research Paper". But I must point out that while I was theorizing and writing articles on evangelism, someone else was out winning souls and healing the sick in their city. While I would be flattered if you read my article, you might be more blessed by checking out Candri Georgi's blog. Check out the Monday, June 11th entry. This is what it's all about.

God bless,

Ashley

Say What I Say, Do What I Do

Hi ya Cute Little Boy!

Every day you seem to come up with some new antic! Now you are tall enough to peak up on top of counters and tables and grap what interests you. This is mostly funny but sometimes very frustrating because I have to keep finding new places to hide things out of reach. The other morning you came into the bathroom and found your mommies open contact lens case with some fluid still inside the cups. You promptly picked it up, poked your finger in the wet cup, and poked your eyes! I couldn't believe you have been paying such close attention to mommy's morning routine that you learned about her contacts :)

If that wasn't enough, you have really taken to talking lately. It seems like almost every time one of us finishes a sentence, you repeat the last word of that sentence because you've been paying attention. Your vocabulary is expanding daily at an amazing rate. As of tonight, you can say various words including: sure, night night, bye bye, qiu qiu (ball), ball, qi qiu (balloon), ice, shui (water), qu (to go), kai (open), Pa pa (grandpa H.), A Gong (grandpa chen), da da (~goes without saying~), Moe, Joe, Bob, chi (eat), diu (throw), cheese, ham bao (hamburger), bao bao (pick me up), xiu xiu (potty), he (pinyin for drink) "I love you", and your latest word - church. I'm probably missing a few, but the lesson is clear for mommy and me. There's one little boy saying what we say and doing what we do. You are a precious gift and I am amazed at you every day.

Love,

Baba

Another Link Addition

A friend keeps leaking out amazing website links to me one by one. The latest is a blog page from the associate pastor of Northgate Church near Atlanta. They are seeing miracle healings come one after the other, and this blog keeps up with some of the testimonies. You can find the link in the right column labeled "Kingdom Power". The church's main website also lists more testimonies.

Northgate Church is holding an evangelistic training conference July 6th-8th. If you want to see the power of God impacting a community, this is the place to do it. Amazing miracles are happening today for those that believe.

Gene Strite Download Addition

Hi Folks,

While I've been too busy to write a full testimony about my trip, I've finally accomplished another major addition to the site. I added a teaching series on building financial wealth from a man named Gene Strite who has spent considerable time with our congregation this year. He has a high school education, and is a self-made multi-millionaire. He is also the head pastor of World Harvest Outreach Church in Chambersburg, PA. If you think you're going to be wealthy someday, but are just waiting for God to just start raining the money down from heaven or send you that magic job that pays twice what you're already making, you really need to listen to this series. Anyone who wants to build wealth would benefit from listening to his training. It has totally changed my mindset on money spending. One statement he made profoundly affected me and made me realize that I needed to change something in order to become affective at building wealth. He said that the middle class people are essentially no different than the poor class. They both squander their money, but the middle class simply have more money to squander. The wealthy have a fundamentally different approach to spending and investing. Beyond my own enjoyment of this series, we have received high compliments back from every family we have given copies of this teaching to. They all have agreed that this series is profound.

Check out the MP3's on my download page (link in right column). I suggest you right click to download this series and click "Save Target As". The site seems to have some problem downloading the other way. Bon Apetit!

PS. I'd really be interested to get any comments back on this series after you've listened to it. Drop me a line on email, or preferably, register and post a comment on the blog.

Quick Testimony

Hey Everyone,

Thank you so much for those of you who prayed for my partner and I during our ministry trip. It was truly an awesome experience and I appreciate your support. I am very busy with responsibilities and homework at the moment, but I will post more stories from the trip later. For now, all I really have time to say is that God was with us very powerfully. So much so, that we were blessed by receiving an '86 Cadillac and $1000.00 for the ministry that we provided to a local church. This church was hungry for God and we were able to encourage and bless them very richly in their ministry. I look forward to sharing more in the coming weeks.

Ashley

Please Pray

Well, tomorrow is the motherload of ministry outings for me. MSM students are being sent out to various cities in the southeast for about 3 days to do some crazy ministry outreaches. I've been very busy lately between assignments, job searches, etc., and have not had much time to keep this blog flowing. Hopefully that will change before too long. But for this week, if any of you feel especially spiritual, please pray for me and my partner as we go to Roanoke, VA and look for God to show up in our ministry. It would be especially helpful if some of you would commit to praying for us Monday thru Thursday every morning as we start our day. Thanks in advance for standing with us in prayer. I hope to post some of the better ministry encounters as I have in the past. Hopefully they will bring some inspiration to you all. We love and appreciate all of you friends and family who have done so much to help and encourage us being up here. To me, this week is a culmination of all of the training, difficulties, hopes, and sacrifices that have been contributed to this season of our lives.

Many blessings,

Ashley

Photos Update (second post)

Hey Everyone,

Sorry about those of you who could not find the last post I made. It really messed up the website somehow, and I had to delete it to fix the problem. All that to say, I've updated some of my photos and you can see the individual folders by clicking on the links below. To see the main menu of photos, just click "Hawkins Photos in NC" in the right column of this page.

Sammy Chillin'

Friends of NC

Daddy & Sammy at McDowell Nature Researve

Midnight Snack

Dear Samuel,

The things you do ALWAYS surprise me. Like last night you woke up at what felt like 3 or 4 and woke me up with a "Heeeeyyy.." and said that you were hungry/thirsty and wanted some juice. Good thing your dad was closer to the edge of the bed because he got up and got you a sippy cup. We didn't want to get you up and sit at the table because you probably would have stayed up longer than you did. You fell asleep again, thankfully, and I handed Daddy the sippy cup after waking him later in the morning.

Your vocabulary is expanding. You are wanting to communicate so much that you babble to our neighbors and wiggle your jaw to see if anything coherent will come out. It is the cutest thing. For now you sing the Belly Button song with Mr. Lunt and sing "no, no, no" when he says "I don't got no belly button..."

We are enjoying your new language, and we are seeing your personality through it as well as your steadfast thought patterns (AKA strong will), but this just encourages us that you will stand up for what you believe in the future. We love you very much!

My Pilot

I love to fly. Ever since I was a little kid and flew with my mom to Texas, I was captivated by the whole idea of being able to get up above the world moving so fast, and see everything from a different perspective. I think I was probably less than 5 years old at the time, but I remember some details about that day. I remember that my mother bought me a jelly biscuit. I remember flying into San Antonio in the late evening and watching all the little city lights that seemed like specs below. I remember that my mother got me a visit with the pilots to see the cockpit that day, and that she had a conversation with the stewardess about whether or I could sit by the window seat on an exit aisle.

I bet your thinking I'm going to say something about how our perspectives have changed since we've been here at the school, but that isn't really what I had in mind. You see, the most critical part of flying an airplane is really the landing. Any numbskull can keep a plane in the air (assuming you have fuel), but it takes a very skilled person to land one. Being an aerospace engineer by training, I have a keen interest in this part of the flight because there are 2 really neat things that happen. First, when the plane reaches an altitude equal to the length of the plane's wingspan, something happens called ground effect which gives the plane a boost of lift causing the flight path to flatten out. Pilots all know they have to account for this or they will actually overshoot the runway every time. The second thing that happens is the landing flare. To bleed off speed, the pilot gently pulls back on the stick causing the nose to rise and the plane to lose speed, gently stalling and dropping the plane to the ground. These 2 events together cause the plane to have about 10 seconds of very smooth gliding just before landing where the outside wind gusts don't seem to buffet the plane very much. Then, just after this peaceful glide, wham! The tires hit the ground and screech a little. All of a sudden, the plane has transitioned from its slowest speed of flight, to its fastest speed on the ground. For the first time since the flight began, you realize how very fast the plane is really moving as you see the runway lights zipping by. The brakes vibrate; the plane shutters and makes all kinds of sounds as it slows down.

The funny thing is that I am so focused on this process that when the plane begins ground effect, I feel as though time stands still. I feel connected to the plane and the hands of the pilot holding the stick. I have to put my trust in his ability to make that transition from air to ground. Some pilots make it very smooth. But I've been on planes a few times when it really slammed down onto the tarmac. A few times, the plane started swerving left and right while the pilot was trying to get it under control. That's rather unnerving to me, because I'm always thinking in the back of my mind, "I wonder if you can actually roll an airplane?!"

I suppose the point I'm trying to make, is that this imagery seems to be the best way I can describe the season of life I'm in right now. I'm gliding in this place protected momentarily from the turbulence of the air and the harshness of the ground. I know their is a transition coming up fast, and I'm finding I have to again put my trust in a man sitting up front in a cockpit, behind a door that I can't see. Gee, I hope he's there...with both hands on the controls. I hope he remembered the flaps. The approach seems smooth, and I'm feeling at one with the plane and the pilot for the first time since the flight began. If I can't trust THIS pilot, who can I trust???

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Black Eye

Samuel gave me a black eye. He hit me with his head. It hit my cheekbone--Hard. I feel like I can handle pain, but this one hurt. I put an ice pack on it, but I still have this seemingly perpetual bruise (that's turning blue/black/green now) under my eye that is tender whenever I squint or touch it. It accentuates the bags already under my eyes. :) Then the next night, he whacked my nose with (what else?) his head and I heard a crack. Now I don't have a very prominent nose, and he's missed once or twice already, but this one was a dead ringer and brought tears to my eyes. Let's just say that Ashley and I are very careful around Samuel when he throws his head or feet! I heard some bruises today coming from Ashley's direction.

We are just thankful that we have such a playful and healthy boy. You can just pray for us to dodge his flying body parts.

K

Hard-Headed Kid

Dear Samuel,

You didn't go through any real biting phase, but you have discovered the used of your head as a weapon. Last night you head-butted me on my cheekbone and made me cry. You've also injured your dad's nose and chest as well as injuring your own nose on his shoulderblade. All in all, you are a total boy and tough as anything. We are very proud of you and all the new words you are learning, like "more" and "doo dow". The last word is Chinese for throw away, and you love to help us throw away your diapers. You'll even crumple up clean ones to throw away. Now only if we can get you to say "Larry".

Love,
Mom

Incomprehensible

'Our concepts of measurement embrace mountains and men, atoms and stars, gravity, energry, numbers, speed, but never God. We cannot speak of measure or amount or size or weight and at the same time be speaking of God, for these tell of degrees and there are no degrees in God. All that He is He is without growth or addition or development.' - Tozer

Tickles and Trucks

Dear Samuel,

Today was a special day to me. We went on a normal evening walk, but halfway around your Mommy found a long grass weed that has a wheat-looking head on the end. We pulled several out of the ground and started poking each other. The were very tickly on the end, so we poked your neck and ears and made you squinch up to protect yourself. You had this cute little smile on your face, and we all had a wonderful evening. Daddy is learning to enjoy this journey and the simple daily time with you better, but tonight it was easy to do.

Seems like your favorite thing to do these days is play in the truck. About 6 weeks ago when it was still pretty cold out 1 night, you started putting all your clothes on and bringing your shoes over for me to put on. Since you couldn't talk, I put your shoes on to see what you were up to. You went over and tried to grab the front door, indicating that you wanted me to open it for you. Then you grabbed me by the hand, led me down the stairs, into the parking lot, and next thing I knew, we were standing beside the truck and you were begging to get in. Since that night your favorite afternoon past time is to go hang out in the truck with the radio on, pushing every button you can find in the front seats. I just put on the emergency brake and lay the seat back to rest while you play. You have proven that there is a gene in the Hawkins family for the love of automobiles. It's scary. I keep seeing more of myself in you everyday, and it is a little frightening to realize what I must have been like for my parents to raise.

John Maxwell Poem

I'm just now getting into the meat of this John Maxwell book. I love this little poem:

The Little Chap Who Follows Me

A careful man I want to be,

A little fellow follows me;

I do not dare to go astray

For fear he'll go the self-same way.

I cannot once escape his eyes.

Whate'er he sees me do he tries,

Like ME he says he's going to be-

That little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go

Through summer suns and winter snows,

I am building for the years to be-

That little chap who follows me.

-John Maxwell

Interesting New Links

A man names Steve Witt came to teach at MSM this weekend. He spoke about life planning and breaking out of stuck ways of thinking. I was tremendously impacted by his time with us, but I won't say much about it now. I just wanted to point out a few new links based on his time with us. In the right margin, you'll find "Creative Think" and "Steve Witt". You might enjoy checking them out. Creative think is a site about creative ways of breaking out of one's traditional train of thought and looking for new insight and creativity to address the situations of life. It is very very good.

Enjoy.

John Maxwell Quote

"He who thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only out for a walk." - John Maxwell

MSM requires us to read several books during the year and write reports. We had a requirement for a book on leadership, so I picked John Maxwell not knowing anything about him except that I always see his books in the airport. Up until now I really never thought of myself as a leader, and didn't care to read such books. I've changed my mind now, and I think that every Christian should have some training in the subject. Leadership is influence. Every person influences someone at some point in life...even if they don't realize it. It is important to be aware of this influence and use it to benefit society to the best of our ability.

I met an old friend in the grocery store a year ago, and discovered how this had played out in our relationship. I'm not proud of this example, but it will make the point clearly. Somehow during our mini-reunion, we got to talking about exercise. He proudly told me that he had never forgotten my advice on exercise and had held to my example. I eagerly asked him what I had said (since I had forgotten). He told me, "You said I should never excercise unless I can do it right". Ouch! Did I say that? That was the worst advice I could have possibly given him on exercise, but it was a profound influence on his life, so much so that he had formed his health philosophy around it.

I think most often we do not realize how much influence we have on other people. You can see that this is true in a very interesting way. Grab a pen and paper, and scribble down the top 5 most influencial people in your life. Look at the names of each of these people, and think back whether or not you ever communicated to them the tremendous impact that they had on your life. In most cases, you will find you never had the opportunity to express thanks to them. Or even if you did, you probably didn't have the words to communicate how deeply they had changed your life forever. I know in my top 5 list, at least 1 of those people may not even remember who I am today...I was just one of many kids he taught at the church. If this is true in your case, it is also likely that someone you have impacted may have never found the way to express your influence in their life.

The point it not to make sure everyone knows how very much they mean to you. Hopefully you take time to tell special people how precious they are in your life. But the point I am making is that many times in our life experience, we have limited ability to acknowledge and thank those important people who may have only spent a few months or years building into our lives. Sometimes we don't even realize the impact they have had in us. But leadership (influence) is happening all around us and in us every day. I pray that your influence is better than the one I had on my friend at the grocery store!

God bless...

Ashley

Beware of Turbo Tax!

Did you live in a house part of the year, and then rent it out for part of the year in 2006? If not, you can just ignore this post. But if you did, and are using Turbo Tax to do your taxes this year, you might want to keep reading.

Okay, okay...I keep thinking maybe I shouldn't be writing this post. It could come across spiteful or sound like I'm just complaining. That's really not what I'm trying to do. All of that aside, if you fit the description above, Turbo Tax will not properly calculate your taxes this year. As part of my detailed (meticulous) engineer training, I went back to doublecheck the math after inputing my info in TT because I wanted to make sure that the program works properly. Turns out, there is a bug on Schedule E that does not properly account for losses and expenses when you live in a house and then rent it for part of the year. Under this circumstance, you are not allowed to have a loss, and must carry over depreciation and some expenses to following years. Publication 527 details these requirements and a worksheet can be found on page 7 to help figure it out.

I've called tech support repeatedly about this issue to see if it ever got fixed, and it didn't. The good news is you can get a refund. The bad news is that they will make you pay shipping.

I hope this info saves someone from getting audited and corrected. My main concern is getting this information out to the people in my situation who didn't take the time to check TT carefully.

Taco Bell

We went to Taco Bell the other night to get a late snack while Sammy slept in the car. That's what we do when he's actually asleep in the car - we eat a peaceful meal and have some intelligent conversation. We ordered a Nachos Bellgrande, and they told us they were out of nachos! Can you believe it?! Taco Bell out of nachos?! That's like...Honda out of Civics...Walmart out of shopping carts...........the Hawkins home out of diapers!!! Well, anyway, you get the point. Some Taco Bell manager has probably got himself a good lecture about that. I sure feel sorry for him!

God In America

We read all the statistics and hear the news of the changes happening in America, but it's hard to realize how much things change on a daily basis. Every once in a while, something happens that really makes you understand how much life has changed in our society in a generation. That happened for me this week. We've been spending spring break in Huntsville with family, and I took some friends out doing some public ministry. We met with about 5 people during our time at the mall, but one encounter in particular really impacted me.

We stopped at a jewelry kiosk to share the gospel with an East Indian woman that God laid on my heart. In the course of speaking with her, we found out that she had never heard of Jesus in her life. That wouldn't have surprised me if we had been standing in an Indian bazarre in New Delhi, but we were right here in the Bible belt! I shared the message of Jesus with her, and after a few minutes she prayed to invite him into her heart. She later told us that when she prayed, she felt peace in her heart. She also told us that she had never felt this peace before. We spent some time teaching her about Jesus and how that peace was his Spirit coming into her life. It was exciting, and such a privalege to be the first person to tell her about Jesus and know that she was begining to experience a personal relationship with him immediately.

The fields are indeed ripe for harvest. I am saddened to find that someone could actually make it onto American soil in this day and age without hearing about Jesus, because our country was founded on Christian principles. But it makes me all the more sure of my calling to share the gospel with boldness. I'm so thankful for the training we are receiving that has helped me to overcome the fear of rejection in public ministry. It's freed me up to walk in my calling in a way I never dreamed possible, and I know this is just the begining of a completely different life than if we had been afraid to take the risk of this transition. The seeds being planted in our family right now are going to yield a tremendous harvest over the next 40-50 years, and will impact our children's children for generations to come. Our trials are painful and fear of failure seems always to be knocking at the door of my mind. But when I stop to see how God has blessed and taken care of us in this season, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.

I want to encourage all who are reading to take the risks God is leading you to take. There will certainly be growing pains, but anything worth having in life is going to cost you something. One of my favorite inspirational quotes goes something like this: The cost is the same to live a life of complacency or to fulfill your destiny - it costs 1 life. Selah (think about it).

The Imagination Station

Adventures in Odyssey...

I love this radio series. I listen to it now online, granted, a little less since having Samuel, but I have listened to it religiously since 2001 while at Samford University. It was my company late at night when I couldn't call Ashley :) as well as providing me with some belly laughs at Wooten's silliness and Whit's amazing wisdom about life and in dealing with children. It was like living in that town and being a part of their family. It was adventurous with travels across the ocean and mysterious plots that were so complex that I would pull over in my car en route to a clinical to be able to glean all the details. Engagements, break-ups, abortion, cancer, death, divorce, sibling rivalry, etc. were all addressed...and it was just so awesome.

I remember waking up early the day of Courtney's bridal shower and heading over to a bakery supply store when Odyssey came on in the car. It was an episode about trying to control things that we couldn't control or manipulate. Timely, granted things got a little harried trying to get the stuff done for the shower. :) Many times, it has been company while I did chores...washing dishes, cooking, and mowing the lawn on Waxleaf Green. I had plenty of time to listen and had some silly laughs over Wooten's shaving his eyebrows off or wanting to donate a kidney to lose some weight. You probably had to be there...or else you should just listen to the episode. :)

I guess I don't know if I can't really explain the depth of feeling I have for this show. The reason for all this reminiscing is that I found out one my favorite actors on the show died. He did two of the voices (Tom Riley and Bart Rathbone), and I just cannot imagine life without him in that town. I listened as people talked about him and also read about his life.

I guess it just made me wonder about my life and what I am doing. I don't really have an answer, but it has just given me a little more determination to do something meaningful with my life that will matter in eternity, not just here on earth.

For those of you who have not listened to Adv in Odyssey lately or want to, go to http://www.whitsend.org/ to listen. They also have a weekend edition which has the newer episodes. You can also listen to them on the radio, just find your station and tune in. You'll be glad you did. It is good family listening and discussion time. I hope to do this with Samuel as well.

Karen

P.S. Did you know that the first voice for Whit (John Avery Whitaker) was Otis from the Andy Griffith show? He said it was the most important thing he ever did. Check it out.

Learning learning learning!

Dear Samuel,

Today we took a walk. You rode your tricycle with your Winnie the Pooh helmet. It was so cute. We walked down to the apartment main building (where we also got some complimentary cookies), and you quickly learned the word for cookie. You said "Cook!", though. :) Daddy and I just looked at each other with raised eyebrows. You had a good time on the tricycle, balancing your feet on the pedals as well as letting your shoes drag on the ground. You got tired and decided to lean on the handlebars while Mommy pushed you. It was a beautiful day.

Tonight we said "Thank you, Jesus!" and you responded immediately with an "AMEN!"...or your version of it, which is "MEN!"

That brings such joy to me to hear you say that. You probably don't know exactly what that means right now, but you are agreeing with me! :) I pray your heart would always be towards Him.

Love,
Mommy

Religion vs Relationship Part 3 - A Personal Experience

During our last faith course I had an encounter with the religious spirit trying to operate in my own life. Because of the truths I've been meditating in lately, I was able to recognize it, press through, and lead three people to salvation. Our assignment took us to Po-Dunk, North Carolina where we spent the day doing various ministries and outreaches. One of the assignments was praying for the sick in a hospital. After we finished this assignment we were exiting the building when I heard to girls start laughing at my ministry partner, Sam. Sam is a scary looking guy with long dread locks, a beard down to his chest, and several tattoos. But the ladies were captivated by his hair, so we figured we'd talk to them a few minutes and see if we could find an opportunity to minister to them.

One of the ladies (Jessica) was in a patient's gown with an IV inserted in the back of one hand, and a cigarette in the other. She very overweight too. I hadn't realized it, but I was already making judgments that she wasn't really worthy of our time to minister to her because here she was in the hospital sick, and still coming outside for a smoke. The more we talked, the angrier I became. I discovered that she was pregnant without a husband, and had a disorder that prevented her from being able to keep food down. She and her friend began telling us about their boyfriends, and drugs, and pregnancies of other friends without husbands, and the more she talked, the angrier I got. How could she be smoking when she knew it would harm her baby? Why would she have so many boyfriends and live such a loose life? How could they be proud about using drugs and brag about all of her exploits the way she was doing? By that time she was half way through sharing, I had decided that she was definitely just a trashy girl who wasn't deserving of my Jesus.

But as these judgments started rolling through my head, I began to realize how evil these thoughts were. In my mind, I said a quick prayer of repentance, and ask the Lord to give me his heart for these two girls. After they had spilled their whole shameful story to us I could not see any feelings of guilt in their eyes or faces. They seemed rather cavalier about their stories. But I was beginning to feel God's compassion for these girls who had come from fatherless homes and not been raised to know the Lord. At first, we just offered to pray for Jessica's healing, which caught her off guard to realize she had just spilled her story to some Christians. But she was very receptive, so we prayed for her healing. After we finished, I could feel the battle inside me trying to keep me from sharing the gospel and inviting them to accept Jesus into their hearts. I knew it was their time, so I asked them if they would like to invite Jesus into their lives and have a new start on life. These 2 girls who had been bragging about their exploits just 2 minutes ago began weeping before we could even pray as their hearts began to open up to the Lord. They told us how they had been in church before, but had left the Lord for other things in life. They both wanted to pray for salvation, and they even brought into our circle another woman who had been standing back listening to the conversation. She also gave her life to the Lord that day after watching how the events unfolded.

At the end of our time with them, I gave them some brief pointers on having a relationship with Jesus in hopes to keep them from falling into dead religion. They were all weeping and hugging us and thanking us for being there to pray with them. Jessica said she wanted to take her children to church for the first time so they could grow up knowing the Lord. I walked away from that situation realizing the impact that we had just made for these 3 young ladies, and how the religious spirit had attempted to shut down the ministry by attacking my thoughts. Now I keep reminding myself; lights are only useful in the darkness. If you are a Christian, you are the fragrance of Christ. Your candle is lit. No go take it out into the darkness.

Blessings...

Religion vs Relationship Part 2

It could be said that religion is man's attempt to appease God by ceremonial practices, but relationship is God's method of demonstrating that he is already pleased with man. Religion encourages us to manipulate the system to please God but it doesn't cause any inward change. Relationship establishes that we are already in God’s good graces (through Jesus) and drives us to inward change because we know it brings us closer to the heart of God. Our fallen human nature tends toward religion as a formula to make God happy. It appeals to our personalities as creatures of habit. God hates religion because it tricks people into thinking they are okay when they are not okay. In an attempt to communicate this to us clearly, God very often offends our religious sensibilities to stir us out of the lethargy of religion back into relationship with him. We will look at a few examples briefly to see how God offends us, and how the quality of our response can affect those around us.

The story that got me thinking about this is found in Acts 10-11. It is the account of Cornelius the Roman Centurion and Peter. To summarize, God tells Peter to go preach to the Roman gentiles, and then they get baptized with the Holy Spirit. This was an absolute shock to Peter and the other apostles, because Jewish laws forbid them to associate with gentiles or visit them. Peter had to break Jewish law to preach to the gentiles. This was unheard of, but through his relationship with God, he was told to do it. Many times when we follow God by having a relationship with him, we will break the rules that "religious" people are depending on to make themselves righteous before God. When we cross those boundaries, we will find that we are persecuted in the same way that Jesus and the Apostles were persecuted. Just Google Rick Joyner, and you will see what I mean. All kinds of false accusations are leveled against him in the Internet because so many people are offended by his relationship with Jesus. They want him to conform to the "old religion" (old traditions) that they hold sacred, but traditions which hinder us from moving on in God.

One of the ultimate ways in which the religious spirit affects us is in our relationships and associations with others. Relationships and acquaintances are our primary means of advancing the gospel, and the Deceiver will use this deception to hinder a potentially fruitful relationship. This is evident in Jesus life. So much of his ministry time was spent having meals and hanging out with sinners, that the Pharisees accused him of being a glutton and drunkard. But it was as Jesus spent time with sinners and broken people that he was able to minister to him.

Scriptures are full of instances where godly people broke the law to do God's will. Jesus spoke with a Samaritan woman (forbidden) and led the entire town to salvation. He allowed the prostitute Marry to anoint him with oil and wash his feet bringing the scorn of every religious person watching. Elisha laid on a dead boy's body to bring him back to life. You just couldn't touch dead bodies according to Jewish law, especially if you were a minister. David and his men ate the holy bread and God blessed them instead of killing them. The point is that each of these situations would have drawn the scrutiny of law abiding Jews, but each of them were acceptable and pleasing to God.

These examples display a principle that will help us in our ministry and daily life. Very often the fruitful relationship that God has for us will offend our minds, or the minds of religious folks around us. And many times those relationships will bring us into very un-sanctified surroundings, because it is in those un-sanctified surroundings that there are people who really need to meet Jesus. Lights are only noticed when they shine in dark places. Go shine!

Stairs

Samuel,

At church last Friday, you went up the stairs unassisted and without holding onto anything. I was so shocked and pleased. You are growing up too fast for Mommy, but I am so proud of you.
I love you,
MommyK

Climbing

Dear Acrobat Samuel,

You love to climb! Instead of climbing onto the futon like everyone else, you always choose to climb up the side railing and fling yourself over the side regardless of what toy, book or person might be there. You climb on the rocker. You climb on the ottoman. You climb on the computer desk chair. You climb on the side table. You climb on the dining room chairs. You climb on the table until Mommy sees you and tells you to get down. You would love to climb up onto the kitchen counters, but so far you are content to climb the small kitchen ladder to play with your magnetic alphabet letters. You like to climb on the playground outside our apartment and slide down the smaller slide, but you won't go down the twisty slide. You will climb up and look down it, but you shake your head 'no' when we ask if you want to go down. You certainly know what you do and do not want.

Like certain foods. Pears. We bought some ripe pears for you today. We sliced it open, scraped some out and fed it to you. You didn't like it and quickly extended your tongue out (with the food) in protest. You also turn your head with amazing agility to avoid eating foods you don't like. For instance, you didn't like the blueberry yogurt we fed you tonight. You ate the yogurt, but you promptly isolated and spit out the blueberry. You are so funny. You are selectively selective. You like blueberries at times and obviously, at other times you don't. But you are a good eater. We are so proud and thankful for you.

Love,
Mommy

Stevie Wonder and Google

Dear Samuel,

You are our delight and joy! Today was such an eventful day for you. We went to Costco, and you pushed the bascart around while crawling on your knees as well as walking. You slid across the floor more, though. It is one of your favorite things to do in any store. Then we went to Babies R Us and got you some yummies--which you promptly wanted opened and ate about 10 crackers in a few minutes. You were hungry. Then we went to Toys R Us because Daddy wanted to look at tricycles for you. PLUS! We had a coupon (which we did not even use!). The tricycle we were looking for was sold out, but you didn't care. We pulled one down for you to ride, and you loved it. Daddy pushed you around first, and then Mommy pushed while Daddy went to ask the salesman some questions.

It's amazing how you like to push and pull things now. After riding, you climbed in the John Deere tractor truck and played with a push popper ball toy as well as a baby stroller. We ended up buying you the Radio Flyer Steer & Stroll. You can't exactly work the pedals, yet, but we will teach you. You are learning so fast these days! We tested it out on our patio/porch area, and you had a great time making car sounds and making the bell sound (inside). Of course, you then threw it down just to see what noise that would make!

Oh yes...and we also bought you a helmet that you picked out. It is a bright red helmet with a stuffed Winnie the Pooh head on it. We tried it on you since you have a big head (it was 3+), and you didn't want us to take it off. It was on sale. You liked it. It would eventually make some good photos. You look so adorable in it already--and you like it! You are such an incredible kid!

Tonight, you have amazed us with how quickly you are learning. Daddy sat with you at the computer, and I told him to teach you a word. Guess which word he picked? Google.
You picked it up really quickly and were google this and google that. He also taught you to say yahoo! but we think you were already learning that. Tonight you finally said your version of Amen. You exclaimed, "MEN!" You are such a quick learner. Mommy made you some pasta for your bedtime snack, and you said noodle--or the equivalent for it. You are really trying to talk.

And finally tonight, you amazed us with your 20-month-old creativity! You climbed up on the keyboard bench and started to play and sing your own little song. You then paused and continued to play and sing a little song. Daddy tried to get it on video, but you got distracted and wanted Mommy to come sit with you. Then you wanted Mommy to sing, so you didn't sing for us anymore. We are so delighted with you and are so blessed by you. You bring us so much joy.
Sweet dreams, little one. Mommy and Daddy love you!

P.S. Thankfulness (you should read the first part, first!)

My husband did another amazing thing I would/could not imagine myself doing. Today we ate at a Chinese buffet (Dad, you would love it). And Ashley went up to this lady who was our waitress afterwards and asked her if she knew Jesus died for her sins and would she like to get saved? IN CHINESE!

I am so proud. I wish I didn't have such a high regard for myself so that I would value her soul over what would be my seeming foolishness and embarrassment. Living without regrets. Wow.

I am so thankful.

Overcoming Fear

I have fear. Fears that need to be overcome. Fears that are being overcome. Fears that are big empty vapors that dissipate when you challenge them. My more recent challenge has been whether or not to attend the first year of Morningstar School of Ministry. If anyone were to ask me if they should attend, my wholehearted reply would be an astounding "YES!". But if you were to ask me personally... I would probably say something like, "I'm praying about it"

Which I am.

Ashley laughed at me tonight when I confessed that my spirit says yes, but my flesh says no just because I know I will have to confront those things I want to avoid and face the things I have kept at arm's length...and just because I know how hard it can be, being the wife of a first-year student.

1) I don't particularly like to sweat. (that's perspire for the ladies) Boot camp can be rough. Summer heat can be rough!

2) I don't like to be exhausted or at the end of myself.

3) I don't like to feel weak.

4) I don't like to fail, mess up, miss the mark, etc.

5) I like things planned (to a certain degree).

These are just a few of the things that will DEFINITELY be challenged/worked on during the school year. Knowing that I will have to experience these doesn't fill me with glee, but it will prepare me for boot camp, AKA LIFE! The invitation remains...I guess the question is do I want it now or later?

:) Now. That way Samuel will have tall shoulders to stand on and keep going where we leave off. I'll do it for me, us, and our future. It'll be good.

It's boot camp.

Thankfulness

I am thankful. We serve an incredible God who is changing my husband into an incredible man of God. Perfect? No, I didn't say that (ahem). But things are changing. Life is exciting and not dull to say the least. Eating out is no longer just a gastronomical feast.

Tonight we met this man who was our server (date night). Ashley gave him some words of encouragement, and it really blessed him. Long story short, we were the last couple in the restaurant, I think, and the man will be calling us to attend church, there may be a business connection there, and I GOT A NEW PEN!!! He gave me the one he had. It is so cool! Samuel will not get to this one! ( I may give in...)

Anyways, I am so thankful for the changes I see in Ashley. It's been such a short time, and God has done so much in our lives to bless us. He deserves all the glory. I pray that we will give our best and glean everything He has for us during this season. Pray for us!

Multi-flavored Cheerios

I am amazed at the variety of Cheerios now. Yogurt Burst (2 varieties), Berry Burst (the only "berry" cereal with real berries aside from maybe organic/natural ones), Multigrain, Honey nut, Plain, Fruity neon, Apple Cinnamon, Frosted...

I really don't have a point. I am just amazed. When I was little it was either plain or honey nut. Maybe I haven't paid attention to the evolution of Cheerios in America. Hm. Instead of taking up a few feet, Cheerios now takes up more space in the aisle. Will there be a day when cereals will take up 2 aisles?

And Rice Krispy treats??? They aren't just square anymore!!!

Tickle Tickle!

Dear Samuel,

You have developed a tickle spot on your neck! Your Daddy's tickle spot is under his arms, and you are sometimes ticklish there, but your neck is a never fail tickle spot! We are coming to tickle you!

Love,
Mommy

Cuddly Samuel

Dear Samuel,

You are the cutest little baby/kid! I have to remind myself that you are not a "baby" anymore. You are a toddler. That fact was in my face today as you, Grandma H and I went shopping for pajamas. You are growing so fast that when you streeeeetch during the night, your pajamas come up over your belly. We can't have your belly getting cold. I usually just pull it back down, but I was trying not to buy anymore clothes. You can thank your Grandma for your clothes when you can talk.

You are jibber-jabbering so much lately. Today in the Suburban, Grandma let you talk to Gigi and Papa on the cell phone. You were so expressive! You know what we are talking about and will definitely let us know when you don't want something. You will shake your head NO. But then you will also tell us when you are done (waving bye with both hands) and when you are hungry (hand to mouth). You are learning three languages at once! You understand English, Mandarin and sign language. You are so smart! You even learned how to blow razzberries when you watched Veggietales' Lord of the Beans. You have given us all a bath in your spewing. I can't wait to see what you learn next!

Faith Course 2

My 3 member team completed our second faith course this Thursday and Friday. We traveled about 1.5 hours east to a little town called Rockingham for part of the assignment, and did the rest at a local mall. I was hoping for some dramatic miracles, but none happened as far as I know. But God did show up and we had a great time. We led 4 people to the Lord (2 recommits, and 2 brand new salvations) and were able to speak some very encouraging words to a few people who we moved to tears right there in the parking lot.

I have a few quick observations I'd like to throw out there to keep in mind as we interact with people throughout the day. If anyone is interested in a particular observation, drop me a line or reply to this blog, and I will get into more detail about that particular topic. For now, I will try to keep things brief.

First, I am coming to realize that the presence of God coming into a person at the point of salvation has a powerful impact on their own personal reality of God. Since I got saved early and grew up in the church, I felt the tangible presence of God as far back as I can remember. Most people who did not grow up as Christians have not experienced his presence. So when they pray as adults and experience him for the first time, it is very powerful to convince them of the reality of God, and the fact the he is now living inside of them. I usually sidestep religious debate with people until after we have prayed for salvation and the Holy Spirit has come into their life. After that, they have a whole different reality. When the Spirit comes in for the first time as an adult, it can dramatically affect the person much more than hours of debate. If they are unwilling to invite Jesus in, I rarely hang around to argue with them.

Second, ask people if they have invited Jesus into their heart, and if they would like to do so. Most people have no idea that the Gospel is about Jesus taking up residence in our bodies and setting us apart for him. Even those who have sat in church for years do not always understand this very simple message. By being direct, many people are open to inviting him to come in, even if they don't yet know who he is. But of course, once the invite him in, they have begun the journey, and the Spirit will be their guide. Many will not repent of sins until God has come in and started convicting them. I know this is a controversial statement, but very true from my experience. If we were honest as Christians, we would acknowledge that we have repented from much more sin since we've been saved, than we ever did before we got saved. Some of our doctrines about repentance aren't really based in reality, and need to be revisited.

Thirdly, I've always seen God come through in the most amazing ways with mercy ministry. Giving money, food, and other provisions away to the poor in random acts of kindness always produce divine appointments. Our assignments involving random acts of kindness cause us to meet people that have been praying for God's help. We get sent out to pick a house or a random person to help, and inevitably, God has organized a divine appointment. He loves to engineer divine appointments like this. Even when we don't feel very spiritual, or like God has shown us a particular target, the results are always amazing. There is something in the heart of God for helping the poor, needy, and disadvantaged. I have another post on this to write some time, but it will have to wait until I have more time.

Peace...

Apple IPhone

I'm not much of a techie. My friend Tony...he's a techie. He will probably have one of these when they come out in June...I just think they're cool. I should have bought stock when the Lord prompted me to back in the fall :( I just thought I was making it up in my head.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgW7or1TuFk

Oh yeah, I almost forgot...this is a spiritual blog :) God bless you all, and remember not to covet your neighbor's phone.

PS. Tony, if you're reading, try to hold out a few months. I know the temptation is great, but remember you could buy a whole car for $500.

PPS. Sorry everyone. I've stayed up all night with a sick baby, and now I'm too wired to go to sleep. This is what happens :) Okay, I'm really done writing now. Bye.

Religion vs Relationship

I think most of my life I have heard people emphasize that knowing Jesus is about having relationship with him, and not about religion. I understood this concept mostly, having had definite experiences where God spoke to my heart clearly through the scriptures or a life circumstance. It's obvious that the main difference between religion and relationship is that religion emphasizes performing certain ceremonies to obtain God's pleasure or feel accepted, while relationship emphasizes the fact that we relate to God more as a dear friend who presently interacts and speaks with us. When someone is attempting to please or obey God through all manner of religious ceremonies, we might say that they are being influenced by a "Religious Spirit". That is, that in their minds they have been tricked into believing that if they perform the right ceremonies, they will be pleasing to God and have salvation.

The religious spirit has great influence among Christians today. Its purpose is to cause us to focus on performing the "ceremonies" correctly and often enough to "feel" saved. There are telltale signs that someone is being influenced by this religious spirit. Feelings of condemnation when we don't read the Bible enough, don't pray enough, or "insert spiritual failure" enough, are clear signs that we are trying to work for our salvation and the approval of God. The truth is that God already loves and approves of us because of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins when he died on the cross.

Another clear sign that you are affected by a religious spirit is if the previous statement I made caused a severe disagreement with you as you read it. The religious spirit makes us crave to be in control of the spiritual lives of other people. This is acted out when we make the judgment that other people are not reading the Bible enough or praying enough, etc... When we dictate what others should be doing to reach our spiritual standards, we have unconsciously believed that we know how hard they should be working to obtain God's pleasure. These 2 signs often come packaged together, but it is possible that we just believe one or the other.

The religious spirit tricks many people into believing they are okay with God. They reason if they go to church on Sunday and help enough old ladies across the street, that God will be pleased with them. But the scriptures are clear that our good works DO NOT qualify us for God's acceptance. His acceptance comes only by the sacrifice of Jesus. Good works are not payment to get into heaven, but only the spiritual by-product of people who are learning to love God and love their neighbor. But how many people will go to church this weekend thinking that the mere act of walking through the doors makes them a Christian? As the old adage says, "Just because you're in McDonalds, it doesn't mean that you're a Big Mac." I don't have time to mention the many notable men who had graduated seminary and were in the profession of preaching the gospel message, only to discover that they still had not received forgiveness for their own sins. Among them are the famous John Wesley (founder of the Methodist Church) and Martin Luther, the great church reformer. That is another article by itself.

As with many spiritual things, it is easier to see at the effects of relationship vs religion than to talk about them directly. In order to keep these entries a little shorter, I will wrap this topic up in Part 2 where I will give a few examples that demonstrate the necessity of relationship over religion.

Grace and Peace...

Give Yourself A Break!

I just had a few pretty lousy days. I wasn't disciplined enough. I need to be doing more. I have responsibilities that I'm not getting fulfilled. I'm really not performing up to my own standards, and God forbid that one of you should have a look into my daily life right now. But you know what? It’s okay. It's really okay. I've made the decision that no matter how poor my personal habits, however much of a failure I feel that I have been today, regardless of how I think I have messed up my chances for God to really position me for success in life, I refuse to dwell on my performance any longer. My personal performance does not determine how much the Lord still loves me. It does not determine my future ability to grow into a man of great integrity and character. If anything, dwelling on the failures of this afternoon will do nothing more than keep me discouraged through the evening and cause me to have a terrible morning tomorrow. 

You know what? If you think that God can't use you anymore because you really did something terrible or stupid, you don't understand how great, and loving, and powerful is my God. If you think that a decision that you made last year has forever ruined your chances to have a truly happy, blessed, and successful life, you have not seen His greatness. When we spend time worrying about our past failures and mistakes, we cannot step into the new pathway that the Lord is opening for us today. To dwell on our old baggage and to believe that it has forever ruined us from success, is to say that we are far better at screwing up our lives than God is at redeeming them. This is the ultimate vanity...to make our own judgments about the ability of God to redeem our past and present circumstances. When we make our own judgments about our potential success, we always put God in a box and limit (in our minds) His ability to truly redeem us.

But God is in the business of redeeming men and women who's hearts are toward him. In fact, for us to say that God cannot make a victorious ending to our seriously flawed lives flies in the face of a mountain of testimonies in the Bible. Who were the great men and women of the Bible? What kind of people did God use? The great King David committed adultery and ignored God's directions by going live with his heathen enemies for a season. God used him to teach the whole world what it means to have a heart towards God. The Apostle Paul was a murderer guilty of executing Christians, but God used him to establish the majority of the New Testament books and teach us all about the power of the sacrifice of Jesus to save us forever from our sins. The Apostle Peter was called "Satan" by Jesus. He denied Jesus 3 times. But Jesus knew of his sin before he committed it, and told Peter that a great destiny still lie ahead for him. Moses murdered a man, and God made him the deliverer of Israel. Jacob lied, cheated, and stole, yet God chose him above his morally good brother as the lineage of the nation of Israel and of Jesus the Messiah. These are but a few of the examples of God's redeeming power. Yes indeed, His power to redeem is far greater than our power to mess things up. Would you believe that God cannot bring your life to success if he can do so with liars, cheats, murderers, adulterers, and frady cats? Maybe you are reading this and you ARE one of these terrible people. Take heart, you have examples in the Bible that prove God can redeem your life as well. There is no mistake too large. So give yourself a break! Quit listening to the lies of the enemy saying that you have committed the one sin or stupid act that can hinder your success forever. In God, there is no such thing. Let's begin having more faith in God's love and power than we do in our own weaknesses. When we are weak, then we are strong! Peace to the troubled heart.Â

A Different Perspective

Just lately I've realized that the Bible I read is not the same one I read oh, say 10+ years ago. Listening to some messages here lately, I've had to ask, "Is this the same Bible? I didn't know that was in there!"

The realization is that my perception of the Bible itself is changing--and how I see God, too. Thank the Lord!

When I was younger I would glean the scriptures for guidelines, boundaries and the general "thou shalt not" whether it be in that form or in a "do not" fashion. I was seeing God as a task master-- One who I could not disappoint or get angry with me if I wanted to be a "good" Christian. Thus, if you looked in my Bible back then, you would see all the commands highlighted in bright yellow, orange (rare), purple, blue or green. That way it would take you directly to the passage where you would be reminded of where you should not fail or break a rule.

Great, huh? 

Living a life where you are always afraid of failing or displeasing someone is not living.

Take Elisha, for example. Laying on a dead body was not allowed in those times. Even now you would seriously be frowned upon if you did that in a funeral parlor. Yet he did that and God raised the person from the dead. Therein lies seeing the true heart of God. Looking beyond the law.  Healing and wholeness.

What that speaks to me is of a life desiring to see what the heart of God is in a matter--and then doing it--even if it doesn't appear kosher to everybody.

Back to the Bible--I'm reading it in a new light. Seeing the bigger picture. Remembering the guidelines but following His leading instead. I think I've relied too much on my own efforts to obey--and fail--so that when I did mess up, I was the failure. 

Now I am actually reading what the Lord has to say about anything, something...me. It's so freeing to see that He isn't a taskmaster waiting for me to fail so that He can punish me, but rather a Father and Bridegroom who loves and a Friend and Brother who will care and cry with me.

It's just the tip of the iceburg. Get ready for the adventure!

 

P.S. Love God with everything you've got. Love your neighbor as yourself. Those are my new rules now. :) I still like to highlight, though. It makes Bible reading much more colorful.

Fretting and Resting

Fretting...Ah...what a euphemism for WORRY! I'm not worrying, just fretting. I don't know. It may have the same punch for you, but fretting has always had a sort of "lesser feel" to it for me. Regardless, it's one and the same.

There are so many things to think about when you have time to think about them. Usually it is at night when both the boys (yes, BOYS) are asleep--which is right now. It's like Song of Solomon 5:2

I was asleep, but my heart was awake...

Will Samuel's teeth grow straight...does it even matter because they will fall out in a few years? Silly things like that and more serious ones...

Tonight I asked God to show me what I looked like in the state of mind I was in. A picture came to mind: A large hand, palm up, with a girl pacing back and forth from one end of it to the fingertip and back again. Not falling off, mind you, but just pacing, pacing, pacing. Even in my own mind, I just wanted to yell, "Just stop and sit down!" Rest is another word for that.

These past few days have been great and terrible. Glorious to see the Hand of God in things happening and terrifying to experience Him hiding His face. Let me just quote Madame Guyon's book Experiencing God Through Prayer Chapter 5:

Although God has no other desire than to impart Himself to you, He frequently conceals Himself for a purpose. It may be to arouse you from laziness, or perhaps you have not been seeking Him in faith and love. But for whatever reason, He does so out of His abundant goodness and faithfulness to you. Often these apparent withdrawings of Himself are succeeded by the caresses of His love. During these seasons, you may begin to believe that the way to prove your faith is by a greater degree of affection or by an exertion of strength and activity. Surely, you may say this will induce God to revisit you. No, dear soul, believe me this is not the way. You must wait the return of the Beloved with patient love, humility, peace, and silent worship. By doing these things you demonstrate to the Father that it is Himself alone and His good pleasure that you seek and not the selfish delights of your own satisfaction. Don't be impatient in your times of dryness. Wait patiently for God. In doing so, your prayer life will increase and be renewed.

Rest. I love it. In a world where if you don't succeed, you try harder, do things faster, more, bigger, better! It's nice to know that God's got me and the whole world in His hands.

Inhale. Exhale. Rest. Just rest.

Veggie Tales!

Dear Samuel,
You love Veggie Tales. You love Bob. Everyone is Bob. Larry is Bob. Junior Asparagus is Bob. Bob is Bob. And you love the theme song! Daddy finally figured it out tonight when you got up to push some buttons on the DVD player. He saw that you would get up and try to replay it each time after the tuba-playing theme song. Once you got it to start over, you would just sway gently to the music and watch the screen. This time I held you in my lap and watched to see what you would do. Sure enough, after the theme song, you would get up and push a bunch of buttons in effort to play the song again. We are going to find the Silly Song DVDs! I am so glad you really like music. Mommy calls you her little head-banger. Tonight you did your head-banging to some music at the church. It was so cute and so terribly funny! You are such a character. Just wait--Mommy will teach you how to make all those faces.
I Love You!

It's Head-Slapping Funny!

Samuel, you are such a HAM! One of your favorite new ways to get laughs is to stop, look at us and slap yourself on the head. Usually this makes one of us laugh, and you laugh right along! You love, love, LOVE to put things in boxes and take things out. Mommy had some old computer disks that Daddy was going to throw away, but you discovered them and have had so much fun passing them back and forth to me through the dining room chairs. You love this. I can just sit there and you will hand them all to me, and then raise your hands palms up facing out as if asking, "What do I do now?" or "Where are the rest?". The funniest part is that you make this noise that just sounds like a question mark. It's an exclamation and question all at once. You use this for many different things when something runs out or you have a question about something.
You are the cutest little boy. Mommy loves you very much. Peaceful dreams, little one.

Learning to Wait

Patience has not historically been one of my strong points. I remember when I was about 20 in college, I could not wait to get married. The only problem was I didn't have anyone TO marry! I couldn't stand the suspense, so I prayed and asked the Lord to just let me know my future wife, even if we weren't ready to be married. This was a stupid thing for me to pray...essentially the same as praying for patience. I secretly thought that if I knew who God was going to bring for my wife, I could maybe speed things up a bit. (I'm sure this was pretty funny for God.) Well, I did meet my wife very shortly after that prayer, and I fell in love with her pretty early on. But God's plans to work patience in me were not to be thwarted, and I had to wait 7 years before we finally married. I was stubborn and didn't respond well to the waiting so I suffered a lot of unnecessary pain. In fact, the Lord did not work out our circumstances to marry until 6 1/2 years had passed, and I finally gave up trying to rush God's plans for my life. Shortly thereafter, everything fell into place and we were engaged.

This same scenario has happened over and over again in my life to the point where I have begun to understand how purposefully God has been trying to work this quality into my nature. It was only this past year as I read a book on divine healing that I finally came to a personal understanding that patience is a Fruit of the Spirit, and a vital character trait of those who will walk with God. More than that, patience must be joined with faith in order to obtain the promises of God for our lives (see Hebrews 6:12).

I think our society tends to view patience as being peaceful and passive. While there is an element of this for sure, I believe that patience is much more than that. I looked up the definitions in the Merriam-Webster dictionary online, and have listed 2 of the definitions below which I believe to be inseparable as it relates to walking with God:

1st definition - Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

6th definition - Steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

Probably the best way to express this idea is with another passage - Romans 8:25:

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

This passage joins together the necessity of 'hoping' and 'waiting'. I share this today as a fresh word spoken from the Lord to myself. There are things I have been wanting and pursuing, and the Lord has made abundantly clear to me that he wants me to wait on his timing. Why? I dunno. Well, I know he is refining patience and trust in my heart. I know that when Abraham tried to rush the promises of God, he ended up with Ismael. The promised son (Isaac) came much later than he expected, and in a very miraculous way. Abraham learned to wait patiently, but not before he first took matters into his own hands attempting to fulfill God's promise for him. Because of his impatience, 2 nations of people are locked in mortal combat to this day. For once in my life I am begining to understand what patience looks like. It is peaceful trust joined with hopeful expectancy. As you wait on the promises of God to be fulfilled in your life, may you experience the peace AND anticipation of God's goodness.